Beautiful, But He'll Never Even Know
by willyisamazingx
Summary: Sad/Angst/Depressing. Roxas believes he's not "good enough". T for dark and depressing theme. Should technically be M, but whatever.


**Pairing**: Roxas and Axel.

**Rating**: M for depressing theme.

**Disclaimer**: Do not own Roxas nor Axel (no matter how many 11:11s I wish upon). I only own the storyline and content. Title by THC (may you rest in peace).

**A/N**: This story right here, I wrote about three years ago in another fandom (bandslash, may you rest in peace) but decided to just change names and use it hereee. All I did was use that nifty took on Word called "replace". Hahah. 3

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They'll bicker over this. You see, Roxas has a low-self esteem.

Roxas will say he's so fat.

Roxas will say he's so ugly.

Roxas will say he's not good enough.

Roxas will say to Axel that he should be left on the street.

Roxas will say these things daily.

Axel will say to Roxas:

"Roxas, you're not fat; you're skinny as hell."

"Roxas, you're the most gorgeous thing on this planet."

"Roxas, you're better than good enough; you're the best."

"Roxas, you're staying here with me."

"Roxas, you have self-esteem issues."

One night, Roxas sits in the bathtub of Axel's apartment. Axel left to go get them some take-out on his way back from running some errands.

There's a razor on the ledge of the porcelain tub. There's no blood on it, only water.

The tub is more than half full and Roxas is still fully clothed. He's sopping wet, his hair plastered onto his face, his eyes spilling sodium-infested tears.

Roxas, despite his terribly low self-esteem and not wanting to do any permanent damage to his pale skin, wrote in Sharpie along the inside of his arm.

'**never good enough.**'

'**not deserving to live.**'

'**not worth it.**'

'**nothing.**'

Roxas had thought of these things for some time now, the emotion bottled up, let out only when he would hate on himself.

Axel knew none of this.

Axel tried to make things better.

Axel was heaven-sent.

Picking up the waterlogged razor, Roxas lightly traced the words on the inside of his arm.

Pressing down until his skin turned white, then red with the revealing of blood, Roxas traced these words.

The cuts were only permeable to the first layer of skin.

Epidermis cuts.

Nothing more.

The door opened as Axel walked into their apartment.

Roxas's eyes shot up towards the locked door as Axel walked past, shouting his presence.

The footsteps outside the bathroom door stopped. Roxas's heart began to beat faster.

There was a crinkle of plastic outside the door when no reply came, signaling Axel was setting down the take-out bag.

Gentle knock on the door rang out like a gunshot in Roxas's ears.

"Hun?"

Pause.

Silence.

"Roxas?"

Pause.

More silence.

"Roxas? Are you in there?"

Nothing.

"Roxas!"

Axel's voice sounded panicked as the doorknob began to rattle.

"Oh God. Roxas, open up."

There were tears in his voice as it cracked along with the door.

The door opened to Axel's stained cheeks and a bouquet of roses falling to the damp floor.

_Roses. _

_"Hey, Roxas."  
"Yeah Ax?"  
Cue holding of hands.  
"The day I propose to you, I'm gonna bring you roses. Okay?"  
"Why not any other flower?"  
"Those are for everyday occasions."_

The memory rang through Roxas's head, his eyes starting to flood with tears.

His fingers began to feel numb as Axel kneeled next to him in the tiny basin.

Axel cradled Roxas, not caring if he was getting drenched with water and blood, not caring that the bathtub is over-flowing.

Axel hugged Roxas close, rocking him back and forth, crying into his damp hair.

"Why?" was all he could choke out. "Why?"

"I'm not good enough," Roxas replied.

"Roxas, hun, listen to me," Axel said, holding onto Roxas as tightly as Roxas's rib cage would allow. "Who ever said you're not good enough? You're the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you, that's all that matters. You're my best friend, Roxas. Why do none of the words I say make it through your head? You're beautiful in every way, you're perfect, and let nobody tell you different."

Roxas sobbed into Axel's wet shirt, clutching his bleeding arm to his chest.

No reply.

"You're perfect."

Sobs.

"I love you."

More sobs.

"Promise never to do this again."

Nod.

"I love you."

Three weeks later, Roxas had gotten better.

Three weeks later, Axel is still there.

Three weeks later, Axel proposed.

Three weeks later, Roxas said yes.

Twelve weeks later, they got married.


End file.
